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Defuse the problem not create an enemy.
By Birgit Adelborg
In work, as in life generally, one meets regularly with opposition, nonco-operation, and enmity caused by no provocation on one's own part. The emotional response is to curse the antagonist and proceed on a course of defence and counter-attack... naturally enough, as in business and in life, self-preservation is all-important. But what are you really trying to achieve? Self-preservation is easier and far more effective by adopting diplomatic means rather than launching into a battle of anger, abuse and hostility. Very often an angry letter can be dealt with very effectively by visiting the sender and asking to discuss the problem that has triggered the complaint or demand. Simply by politely listening to why the letter was sent will change the attitude of your opponent without anything further to be done. This is why big corporations have Complaints Officers. Confucius preached: "Do nothing doing," Jesus said: "Turn the other cheek." I rented a ground-floor apartment in an old villa in Central London, and outside my bedroom window was a narrow alley, then a low wall and another apartment in the neighbouring villa. This apartment was occupied by a large number of Australian youngsters who came and went as they visited London doing their "Grand Tour" of Europe. Inevitably our interests clashed as every weekend they had an all-night party and the area along the dividing wall became Lovers' Lane. At three oclock in the morning three friends and I went around with a crate of wine and trays of hot pies. This was calculated to be when the booze would have run out, and everyone needed something to eat. We were welcomed as old friends, particularly when I explained I lived just over the wall. Within the hour we had befriended the ring-leader in the apartment and organised to meet him for a few beers in the local pub on another night. On that night we discussed the problems he had in securing the rent from his apartment sharers, the problems he had with the other neighbours, and his trouble in securing a work-permit. By easily solving his problems, including giving him details of an out-of-town rundown cottage just great for all-night raves,I solved my own problem. No longer did I and other residents suffer the late-night noise, but also when the Aussie finally left for his homeland he bequeathed to me some fine window-boxes he had constructed
for growing flowers! Do not curse, but bless your adversary.
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I really liked reading and rating this article. Made my day!
Wonderful advice. Stop, think, then act. What would you respond to if you were on the other side of this issue? What would motivate the other person? It's the stuff of effective diplomacy.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful advise, Bridgit.
Keep up the good work.
Best wishes.
Frederick
Excellent piece of advice Birgit. Couldn't agree more.
If only Marie Antoinette had known about the hot pies and wine instead of letting them eat cake things could have worked out differently. History could have been about the French Solution rather than the French Revolution. Good information.
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